almostwitty: (monkey)

Amongst all the time-sucking hassles that December brings along is the need/desire to set up Christmas decorations.

Admittedly, only those with a true heart of rock-solid stone could fail to be impressed by blinking fairy lights and tinsel chasing away the dark December nights, but oy vey, the hassle of setting it all up.

First of all you have to get all the decorations, tinsel, lights and then the huge plastic tree from last year down from the attic or your storage arena. Or struggle to wrestle a new natural tree all the way home from the local dodgy pop-up market around the corner, covering yourself with thistles and thorns in the process.

Then you have to carve out a space in your living room area near the window just to put up the tree. Assuming you had any spare space to begin with. For bonus points, if you have a crawling baby, you have to put enough obstacles on the living room floor so that he can’t actually try to climb up – or more likely, eat – the tree.

Then out come the fairy lights out of the box. Which are all hopelessly tangled, so you have to spend a good 30 minutes untangling them to begin with – while also keeping an eye out on the baby to ensure he doesn’t try to chew the fairy lights. Once you’ve untangled them comes the joyful task of tangling them again around the tree. Before realising that it’s all too far from an electrical outlet so you’re forced to decide whether to move everything else out of the way so you can put the tree near the electrical outlet, or try dangling an extension cable in such a way that the baby won’t eat it.

Then you open the box of last year’s tree decorations, and hope to goodness none of them have been smashed. Then you realise you can’t use any of them anyway because the baby may just decide to try eating a glass globe.

Which is why, this year, my wife’s taken the initative and set up a unique Christmas ‘tree’ of our very own, incorporating books and a fez. Because fezzes are cool.

Our Christmas tree, 2011

I still wish I had the time to set up some more fairy lights around the place, though.

Mirrored from almost witty.

almostwitty: (Default)



Chinese Christmas dinner

Originally uploaded by almost witty

While you all prepare to tuck into your cliched turkey & cranberry Christmas dinner and bemoan that it’s the same meal every year, bear in mind that I wish, that just for one tiny year, that I could have a turkey & cranberry dinner with all the trimmings. Especially roast potatoes!

Not because it’s particularly tasty – any meat that dry should belong in the Sahara, surely? – but because when my parents do Christmas dinner, it’s … rather different. Fantastically tasty, and as with all home-cooked food it’s heartwarming and fantastic, but for once, I’d like to try a turkey’n'cranberry dinner that wasn’t mass-cooked in a canteen or microwaved in a local pub.

They’ll probably cook the same sort of thing this year, but I really must ask how they produce all that food…

Mirrored from almost witty.

almostwitty: (Default)



Chinese Christmas dinner

Originally uploaded by almost witty

While you all prepare to tuck into your cliched turkey & cranberry Christmas dinner and bemoan that it’s the same meal every year, bear in mind that I wish, that just for one tiny year, that I could have a turkey & cranberry dinner with all the trimmings. Especially roast potatoes!

Not because it’s particularly tasty – any meat that dry should belong in the Sahara, surely? – but because when my parents do Christmas dinner, it’s … rather different. Fantastically tasty, and as with all home-cooked food it’s heartwarming and fantastic, but for once, I’d like to try a turkey’n'cranberry dinner that wasn’t mass-cooked in a canteen or microwaved in a local pub.

They’ll probably cook the same sort of thing this year, but I really must ask how they produce all that food…

Mirrored from almost witty.

almostwitty: (Default)
During a brief conversation with my boss, she was still bemoaning that she had to buy "all these presents". Which was a surprise to me because surely there aren't that many people you buy presents for?

So... who are you buying presents for? (If you are buying presents of course!)

[Poll #1499392]
almostwitty: (Default)

Yes, it’s that one time of year when I let my right hand do more than just push buttons all day, and actually make it WRITE things. Y’know, on pen and paper.

So if you want a Christmas card from these very fair hands, please feel free to send me your address and I shall dispatch one forthwith.

[Americans, your Christmas cards are already in America. ;) ]

Mirrored from almost witty.

almostwitty: (Default)

The sun may be shining – or more likely, there’s stormy summer clouds overheard. Either way, it’s hot, sticky, and sweaty.

Hey, why not think about what you’re doing for Christmas ?

and if you think I’m joking, please note the following:

  1. I was walking through Soho the other day (in the pouring rain) and two ladies dressed in scantily-clad Christmas outfits were handing out flyers which invited people to book their Christmas party at a specific pub
  2. The house at the end of the road has decided to put on their Christmas lights on the outside…
  3. Selfridges, one of London’s top department stores, has started offering their range of festive goods

Bah. They could have at least waited till September!

Mirrored from almost witty.

almostwitty: (Default)

The sun may be shining – or more likely, there’s stormy summer clouds overheard. Either way, it’s hot, sticky, and sweaty.

Hey, why not think about what you’re doing for Christmas ?

and if you think I’m joking, please note the following:

  1. I was walking through Soho the other day (in the pouring rain) and two ladies dressed in scantily-clad Christmas outfits were handing out flyers which invited people to book their Christmas party at a specific pub
  2. The house at the end of the road has decided to put on their Christmas lights on the outside…
  3. Selfridges, one of London’s top department stores, has started offering their range of festive goods

Bah. They could have at least waited till September!

Mirrored from almost witty.

almostwitty: (Default)

As I speak, there is the glorious sound of a gospel choir working their way through a bunch of classic hymns and not-so-classic modern pop tunes.

This would be great, if it was not Friday at 4pm, they were on the ground floor of the building I work in and only the bottom two floors (those belonging to BBC Worldwide) are enjoying the party, complete with mince pies, wine, DJ and glitterball. In the meantime, the wage slaves up above have to - in theory - keep working.

It wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t arrived back at the BBC just when the Christmas party limit was slashed, so my “departmental” Christmas party last week was at a bar, and consisted of some free drink - and far too late - some very unChristmassy canapes. Although I’m lucky I got to go to one at all, I suppose…

Then again, my first BBC Worldwide Christmas party was quite an eye-opener. I’d only been working for a week, and got shepherded to the party at Heaven, which included girls dancing in cages, and ice sculptures where you could drink vodka from an ice woman’s breast. This was 1997, mind you…

Originally published at almost witty. You can comment here or there.

almostwitty: (Default)

Sorry to go on about this, but I really think it’d be better all round if we all postponed Christmas. Just by a week or so, just to give me a little more time.

The washing-up has been piling up alongside the laundry, simply because I need to get the international Christmas cards and presents out by Monday and get most of my family presents out of the way by Saturday.

My impending sense of panic and doom is, however, not helped by the terrible Christmas music that the shops and supermarkets are inflicting on my poor ears in an attempt to get me into the festive spirit.

Wizzard’s bloody cliched Christmas song kept stalking me the other day down the high street as I went into shop after shop in a vain attempt to find a suitable present. And then on the drive home, it came on again - from a caller who wanted that song instead of a sweet Christmas carol. Which is at least more calming after a long hour spent gazing at things that nobody could possibly want. Anyone who wishes it could be Christmas every day needs their bloody head examined.

In the meantime, VH1 are asking for your favourite Christmas song. Please let it be the superlative Fairytale of New York (being re-released this Christmas apparently). Let it be Dear Jessie. Let it be Always On My Mind. Let it be anything but that bloody Slade song.

Originally published at almost witty. You can comment here or there.

Profile

almostwitty: (Default)
almostwitty

June 2017

S M T W T F S
     123
45678910
1112131415 1617
18192021222324
2526 27282930 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 24th, 2017 06:45 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios