almostwitty

McDonalds 1, anarchist demonstrators 0

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 16:24:12 GMT

So, bijziend and I were watching the news reports about yesterday’s violence by some anti-capitalist demonstrators in Central London yesterday. Up flashed an image of a McDonalds being attacked.

The next thing you know, she has a sudden craving for McDonalds, and if it wasn’t the fact she had a baby strapped to her bosom (and she maintains that the taste of British McDonalds’ meat is sufficiently different to American McDonalds’ meat as to make it inedible), she’d probably have gotten up and biked over to our nearest McDonalds to get a burger.

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My wife lies to me!

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:39:25 GMT

A few weeks ago, my lovely pregnant wife bijziend tells me that she and MissH volunteered to be part of an amateur production of The Vagina Monologues. I believed her.

She said she’d volunteered me to operate the lights for the performance, which meant an all-day tech rehearsal on the Friday for which I’d have to take a day off. I wondered why it’d take 10 hours of rehearsal to operate a light, but I believed her.

She said the rehearsals would be on weekday evenings for a week, so she’d be away for four evenings. I wondered why they wouldn’t be in the afternoon, but I believed her.

She said the rehearsals were in a different pub (near Euston) to the pub where the performance was (in Victoria). I wondered why, but I believed her.

I pondered why there wasn't a webpage for the performance, but thought nothing of it.

She came home one night with some shopping from Sainsburys. I pondered why I’d never seen a Sainsburys near Euston, but I believed her.

MissH came to stay overnight, because the rehearsals were starting early at 9am. I pondered why, but I believed them.

Apparently, we had to get up early because we were going to drive into town for the rehearsals. I pondered why, but I believed them.

We woke up at the crack of dawn, and my lovely wife and MissH were unduly concerned that I get in the shower quickly. I pondered why, but I believed them.

We got ready to leave the house, and just when I left the house, I realised that my lovely wife hadn’t put her shoes on at all. I pondered why, just when the door slammed in my face and it was revealed that MissH was taking me somewhere random for a lovely weekend. (It later turned out to be a fabulous weekend of muchos drinking and gallivating around Stockholm!)

Now she tells me that she’s joining in NaNoWriMo, which means she’s going to a pub in Camden tonight. I don’t believe her, wonder what’s next in store and am starting to realise that I should never have married an actress … If anyone should find this message…

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I am exhausted…

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:26:44 GMT

Ever since Hyperham moved in, life has pretty much been a non-stop whirlwind of relaxing on the sofa watching Dave, running around London, trash-talking each other and endlessly re-arranging stuff in the flat without actually deciding on anything. And tripping over socks and cables. It hasn’t helped that we’re also in the midst of some redesign projects at work, and I’ve volunteered for more late nights elsewhere (exciting details to come later!)

and I am *exhausted*. Sleep has never come so easily in my life before – hell, some nights, we’re in bed snoring away by 10pm. Especially at weekends. Which has severely cut into my social media time… Yet, people keep commenting that I look healthy and happy. Which sounds rather bizarre to me, because I’m usually looking at them with weary lidded eyes.

This week alone, we’ve got two guests from overseas to entertain, a cinema screening with free whisky, a leaving do and a long night ahead for this week. Oy vey.

And yet, I must also show Hyperham the glory that is the United Kingdom, especially now that Spring has arrived.

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Now the rest of my life can begin…

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 22:06:22 GMT

because HyperHam has finally gotten permission from the glorious British government to pop over and live with me in my West London palace for a very very long time.

After all the stressing of getting documents together for proof and all that, it did seem like a relatively easy process. Just the nail-biting wait – and we paid an extra $100 for an expediter to get an express service too.

Still, now I have three or so weeks to turn my bachelor West London pad into a place permanently fit for a Queen. so that means out with the old rotting food and the decade-old mattress, and in with a new one. Although she likes it soft and I like it hard (fnarr fnarr) so I guess this means we’ll have to compromise!

What else do I need, besides lots of new coathangers and Lush soaps?

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Americans! Spend your Christmas money here!

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 13:14:36 GMT

Fancy spending some of that Christmas money on lovingly kept books and DVDs on a wide range of topics (from Neil Gaiman to Shakespeare and Superman), and other stuff?

Our very own HyperHam has got tons of things on sale, since she’s foolishly decided to move to London and be with me next year. So help her by buying some of her stuff by going to her Amazon shop!

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almostwitty

McDonalds 1, anarchist demonstrators 0

My wife lies to me!

I am *exhausted*…

Now the rest of my life can begin…

Americans! Spend your Christmas money here!

I am exhausted…