Gor blimey, Chinese cockneys!

I've travelled around the world, and met Chinese Americans, Chinese French and Chinese Danes. But nothing has surprised me - and I'm not too sure why - as watching this film about the Chinese Cockneys of the 1920s.

If you watch the video of Connie and Leslie Hoe, they sound soooo ... Cockney. An accent and voice that's unique to London, and that I hear around me all the time - but coming from a biologically Chinese couple, who have seen a lot over the last 80 years. It makes my posh English accent sound incredibly dull. I wish I could do accents.

Drink with my friends and I - and see David Tennant & Patrick Stewart doing Hamlet...

Due to members of my party now being unavailable, here's an exclusive chance to come and sit with my socially-acceptable Whovian friends and I for two hours. And possibly drink afterwards.

Oh, and see some actors called David Tennant and Patrick Stewart strutting their stuff doing Hamlet at the Courtyard Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon on 2 August. They'll need all the encouragement you can get...

If you're interested in tickets, look at the eBay auction