Two countries seperated by a consonant

[almostwitty]

I've spent the last few days in Cleveland, Ohio visiting shove_this_job - and even though I've been in America for the odd week for quite a few years, it's the first time I've been over here since 2005, and I'm not sure if I've changed, or if America has changed.

Certainly, the temperatures seem worse. But this is probably more how I've changed - it was about 24 Celsius in London before I left. Right now it's apparently 30 degrees Celsius outside - a fact that prompts Shalene to gloat about how it's going to get hotter and hotter before I leave. But then the buildings have got their air conditioning turned up to maximum - so here I am, in the veritable British tourist uniform of T-shirts, shorts and sandals, while everyone else is wearing jeans and shirts. How they don't sweat when they walk outside, I don't know - I took a short stroll to a nearby Starbucks (I needed the wi-fi!) and I was getting close to sweating by the time I stumbled in. Having nearly caused three traffic accidents - don't they have pedestrian crossings over here ?!

Another change seems to be how the bargains in American shops just aren't as compelling to me as they used to be - but then I did indulge in a mini-orgy of shopping at amazon.com before I left. Heaven knows how I'm going to fit Rock Band: Special Edition into my suitcase though.

The biggest difference seems to be how nobody understands me here. Especially when I ask for water. The conversation in restaurants seems to go thusly:

Me: "I'll have some water, please."
Waiter: "Sir?"
Me: "Water?"
Waiter: "Erm..."
Me: "Warrrr-terrrrr" (trying to speak slowly)
Waiter: "Erm..."
Me: "Warrrrrrrrrrr terrrrrrrr" (going Ice-Age speed at this point)
Waiter: "I'm sorry, sir"
Me: "Wader!" (in a cod-American accent)
Waiter: "Ahhh, wadderrr!"

*bangs head*

Comments

[offensive-mango.livejournal.com]

That conversation happened a lot to me when I first came to the UK:

Me: I'd like some water please.
Them: Pardon?
etc. until finally,
Me: Wuhh-tahhhhh! [cod-English accent]
Them: Oh! Wuuh-tahhh!

[red-silk-robe.livejournal.com]

When we moved to East Texas in the mid 70s my father (the native Texan) was so excited because Marshall had his FAVORITE burger joint in it.

"We're going to have Water Burger for lunch!"

Water burger?

"No, WAYTUR burger."

Water burger?! I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was supposed to be so great about a burger made of water.

Imagine my surprise when we pulled up to a hideous ORANGE and WHITE monstrosity with a sign that said: "WHATABURGER"



I have to say though, in spite of the name--which my father and I still do not agree how it is pronounced--their burgers are good!

[choirgrrl.livejournal.com]

I must have been to a bad one, then. I ate there once, and swore it would never happen again. The burger was dull and flavorless, kind of like something one would find at Am/Pm at 3 in the morning.
*makes mental note to give it one more chance*

[red-silk-robe.livejournal.com]

Mind you this was 30 years ago...who KNOWS what they're like now. Back then even Burger King still FLAME broiled your whopper!

[worldmegan.livejournal.com]

LOL! What an awesome exchange!! Sorry you had so much trouble though.