My wife lies to me!
Oct. 28th, 2010 11:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
almostwittyA few weeks ago, my lovely pregnant wife ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
bijziend tells me that she and MissH volunteered to be part of an amateur production of The Vagina Monologues. I believed her.
She said she’d volunteered me to operate the lights for the performance, which meant an all-day tech rehearsal on the Friday for which I’d have to take a day off. I wondered why it’d take 10 hours of rehearsal to operate a light, but I believed her.
She said the rehearsals would be on weekday evenings for a week, so she’d be away for four evenings. I wondered why they wouldn’t be in the afternoon, but I believed her.
She said the rehearsals were in a different pub (near Euston) to the pub where the performance was (in Victoria). I wondered why, but I believed her.
I pondered why there wasn't a webpage for the performance, but thought nothing of it.
She came home one night with some shopping from Sainsburys. I pondered why I’d never seen a Sainsburys near Euston, but I believed her.
MissH came to stay overnight, because the rehearsals were starting early at 9am. I pondered why, but I believed them.
Apparently, we had to get up early because we were going to drive into town for the rehearsals. I pondered why, but I believed them.
We woke up at the crack of dawn, and my lovely wife and MissH were unduly concerned that I get in the shower quickly. I pondered why, but I believed them.
We got ready to leave the house, and just when I left the house, I realised that my lovely wife hadn’t put her shoes on at all. I pondered why, just when the door slammed in my face and it was revealed that MissH was taking me somewhere random for a lovely weekend. (It later turned out to be a fabulous weekend of muchos drinking and gallivating around Stockholm!)
Now she tells me that she’s joining in NaNoWriMo, which means she’s going to a pub in Camden tonight. I don’t believe her, wonder what’s next in store and am starting to realise that I should never have married an actress … If anyone should find this message…
Mirrored from almost witty.
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Date: 2010-10-28 11:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 11:45 am (UTC):)
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Date: 2010-10-28 11:48 am (UTC)She insisted you didn't like lap dances and wouldn't take free blow jobs from cute Swedish escort girls (because I will willing to offer a donation to the Blonde BJ Fund.)
Therefore I figured it was an imaginary trip.
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Date: 2010-10-28 11:54 am (UTC)But the Swedish ladies are very cute-looking. MissH kept saying "oooh, she's gorgeous" to every other one we seemed to pass.
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Date: 2010-10-28 11:57 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-10-28 12:00 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-10-28 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 11:57 am (UTC)And: TOLD YOU, BART! :D
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Date: 2010-10-28 12:00 pm (UTC)You are sure he's straight, right?
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Date: 2010-10-28 12:04 pm (UTC)He just gets his jollies from gadgets and gizmos. Saves me on divorce laywers, but I end up paying the same in electric bills! ;)
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Date: 2010-10-28 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 12:05 pm (UTC)"It's cheaper and safer then a red sports car," was her comment.
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Date: 2010-10-28 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-10-28 12:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 02:01 pm (UTC):D
Just kidding. :) (Well, Kiiiiiiiindaaaa.....)
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Date: 2010-10-28 08:19 pm (UTC)Glad it all went to plan and you had a fun time in Sweden!